1987 IBM Model M partly defeats Indian Scammer

I had the pleasure of getting not just one or two, but three calls from the same Indian scammers today calling from “Microsoft Windows”. I’m pretty well familiar with the scam but didn’t really have time to play around with them, so I just sent the first two along with some snide remarks. The third however, I did have a little time to play with so I let him go on with his script.

My plan was to try to follow his instructions and see how far we’d get before he realized that I was on a Linux machine, but he found out pretty fast because of my keyboard and because I told myself that flat out lying to him would spoil the fun. I’m rocking an IBM Model M from 1987 (1391407) which obviously has no Windows keys, so about 30 seconds into his script after making sure that I was sitting at my computer, he asked me to look at my keyboard. It went something like this:

<Scammer> Sir, if you look at your keyboard in the bottom left, do you see a key saying ‘Ctrl’?
<Me> Yes, I see it.
<Scammer> To the right of that, what key do you see there?
<Me> Nothing. There’s just an empty space up until the key that says ‘Alt’.
<Scammer> Hmm… And to the right of that?
<Me> Well, that’s the space bar.
<Scammer> Right. And next?
<Me> That’s ‘Alt Gr’, but now we’re getting to the right side of the keyboard..?
<Scammer> Ok. And next to ‘Alt Gr’?
<Me> There’s a blank space and then the right ‘Ctrl’.
<Scammer> …
<Scammer> Sir, do you have a Mac or a Windows computer?
<Me> No.
<Scammer> I don’t understand, sir. Is your computer a Windows computer?
<Me> No.
<Scammer> Ok, so you have a Mac?
<Me> Oh no. I can’t afford a Mac.
<Scammer> What is your computer then, sir?
<Me> I’m not sure. I think it’s called “Linus” or something.
<Scammer> Oh, Linux. I see. Then I’m afraid I can’t help you, sir. Have a good day!

I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if I had lied and claimed that I was running Windows. I’m pretty sure his script was calling for some Win-R (“Run” dialog) shenanigans or similar but I don’t know if they actually account for people not having a Windows key. If they ever call me again I’ll do that and post the results.